Lincoln the Barbarian
by earthling1996r
Summary: Lori tells Leni a story about Lincoln on a quest


At the Loud house Leni was feeling a little under the weather so Lori came in with some soup to make her younger sister feel better " Hey Leni I have some soup for you." Leni with a sore throat " Like thanks Lori."

Lori puts the soup down on Leni's bed and pull out a book " I'm also going to read you a story wheather you literally want me to or not."

Lori got on Leni's bed and open the book " Now this book is magic what I say will happen in real life and the story is called 'Lincoln the Barbarian'.

As Lori narrats the story Lincoln was in his room with Clyde and Ronnie Annie playing some video games.

Lori " Once upon a time there was an eleven year old boy named Lincoln Loud who... oh this is literally boring." Just then the three kids freeze in place.

Ronnie " Hey why can't I move?" Lincoln " Oh no we are in a Lori bedtime story!" Ronnie " Is that bad?" Clyde " Yes the last one was called: ' The wolf who gave Clyde lots of atomic wedgies!'."

Lori " Oh boring let's skip a few pages shall we?" Lori flips though the pages and stops at a page with Lincoln looking for something in his locker, Lori " Something important was taking from Lincoln."

 **Lincoln in a state of panic " Something very important was taken from me what'll do?"**

Lori flips again and stopped at a page with Lincoln facing the dirt. Lori " He's too much of a wimpy twerp to get it back himself."

 **Lincoln " I'm too much of a wimpy twerp to get it back myself what'll do!?"**

Lori " So that night Lincoln wish upon a shooting star and wished the world was like this barbarian movie he once saw with his friends because barbarians get to kick butt take whatever they want and never have to say sorry for it."

 **Lincoln " Star light star bright the first star I see tonight I wish I may I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight. I wish I was a barbarian."**

Lori " And this is when the story becomes unboring."

 **Lincoln has gained lots of muscles and was wearing a brown cloth. " I'm Lincoln the barbarian I get to kick butt , take whatever I want and never have to say sorry for it." Ronnie appears " And I'm your trusted sidekick and girlfriend** **Knuckleules." A hanging lamp with a very dull light shines Clyde walks in carrying lots and lots of luggage. Clyde " And I'm Clydemoses the human-pack-mule even through i'm the weakest I have to carry everything!"**

Lori " So Lincoln the Barbarian , Knuckleules and Clyde the human pack-mule, wait the mule-face ,human pack mule.

 **As soon as** **Lori said that Clyde's face became a mule's face Clyde " This is not funny man."**

 **Lori " Whatever, so our heros travel to find the holy grail of mome ."**

 **Clyde " Mome?"**

 **Lori " until Clydemoses tripped on a bug."**

 **Clyde tripped on a bug.**

 **Lori " I literally have to read that again. ' Clydemoses tripped on a bug."**

 **Clyde tripped on a bug again Clyde " Stop that."**

 **Lori "So they travel and travel until they make it to..." Clyde " A tiny bridge ?" Lincoln and Lori " It's not just any bridge ." Lori " Hey I'm telling the story! " Lori and a voice from the bridge " It's the bridge of the Brat Troll ."**

 **Lori " Find let the story tell itself for a while ."**

 **Lincoln " A troll lives under that tiny bridge piece of cake." The troll rise up not to be tiny but about ten feet tall it was the bratty kid in a fur pelt.**

 **Lincoln and the Bratty troll started to fight the troll threw a** **tree but Lincoln used an ax to make the tree into benches. A crowd came on to cheer for Lincoln " GO Lincoln!" The Bratty troll grows and the crowd change it up to cheer him on " Go Brat!"**

 **Lincoln then jumped in to the Bratty troll's bellybutton and the troll tried to punched him out but Lincoln quickly got out, Lincoln did the same with the ear and nose the latter caused the Bratty kid to get** **knocked out.**

 **Clyde " Linc you won by a nose get it nose?" Lincoln " Yeah well time to get back that holy grail ." Lori " But the Bratty Troll didn't have the holy grail."**

 **Lincoln " Seriously I can't believe i'm covered in boogers for nothing."**

 **Lori " So let's see um Lincoln's adventures in dairyland nope skipping it." Lincoln " Auahh ." Lori " Lincoln meets Ace Savvy nope skipping it as well." Lincoln groins.**

 **Lori " So they finally make it to mount pain of doom." Lori " Our heros and Clydmoses." Clyde " Hey!" Lori" Climbed the mountain until Clydemoses tripped on a bug."**

 **Clyde tripped and fell " Not again!" Knuckleules " I'll get him can't you climb a simple mountain of pain? G** **eez."**

 **Lincoln and the others made it to the top and saw some big eggs. Clyde " So does anyone want some scrambled eggs or just me?" Then Chandler the harpy came flying in " Larry." He** **screeched.**

 **Chandler scratched Lincoln with his talons but Lincoln punched him in the face and was just about to throw him over.**

 **Lori " This was one battle in which Lincoln couldn't win." Lincoln " What?" Chandler's claws pierced on his head. Lori " So the harpy crushed Lincoln's head like an egg."**

Leni " Hey how could you do that to poor Linky?" Lori " Fine. Let's see."

 **Back in the Story Lincoln and Chandler were playing cards. Lincoln " Got any aces?" Chandler " No."**

 **Back to where we left off Chandler was just about to** **crush Lincoln's head. Lori " But instead of crushing Lincoln ."**

 **Chandler " Oh." He sighed in disappointment . Lori " Hey don't blame me it's Leni." Chandler " Curse you Leni!"**

 **Lori " Instead Chandler was going to drop Lincoln in the vally of very pointy sharp rocks of pain." Chandler " Works for me." Ronnie lassoing " But not me." She lassoes Chandler and gave her wipe to Clyde. " Sorry about this." She said as she pushed Clyde causing the two to fall into the v** **ally. Lincoln was saved and climbed back up to give Ronnie a kiss. Lincoln " Now to get the holy** **grail. " Lori " But Chandler did not have it either." All three said " Oh come on."**

 **Lori " So they travel again until they came across the cave of Tetherby of doom no the volcano of Thetherby of pain."**

 **Lincoln " So does he have it or not cuz I'm not going to fight if he** **doesn't?" Lori " He does." Lincoln gave a squee in delight at the good news.**

 **The three walked into the volcano lair being on guard they then came across a throne room. The wizard T** **etherby was sitting on it in a robe. " I've been waiting for you to come now feel my power." He zapped them in** **lighting . Clyde tripped on another bug Tetherby made with his magic. Lori " Oh I like the way this guy thinks."**

 **Tetherby and Lincoln had a brief brawl but seemed too evenly matched. T** **etherby " You seemed to be in perfect match for my magic Loud so I'm going to defeat you with your greatest enemy: Learning!" Lincoln screamed in terror.** **Thereby " Where is the statue of liberty located ?" Lincoln " Um New Mexico?"**

 **A chained grabbed Lincoln's right arm. Thetherby " What's the square root of PI , How many stars are there, Am I fat?" Lincoln was in a state of** **panic "Um Cherry, A lot, Maybe . " Lincoln was chained to the wall.**

 **Tetherby " On second thought Loud I will pass you through my** **stomach!" He transformed into a dragon. Lincoln "** **Knuckleules give him your knucklesandwhiches do it now."**

 **Ronnie Annie cracked her knuckles and started to pound Dragon Tetherby to a pulp. Lincoln freed himself and caused the ceiling to fall on him.**

 **Tetherby was holding on to the** **holy grail " You know maybe it wasn't worth it." he was crushed by the rubble.**

 **Lincoln grabbed the holy grail.**

Lincoln gave the holy grail which was now made of plastic to his mom. " Happy mothers day mom I made this for you in school." Rita took it and was happy " Thanks Lincoln, Um Why doe sit say 'Mome'?" Lincoln " Well I didn't have enough macaroni so i had to go with a shorter option it's mom with an E at the end you know 'mommy." Ronnie " You know it might be lame but it's the thought that counts." she told to Clyde. Lincoln hugged his mother.

Lori " And They all lived happily ever after." She closed the book and saw Leni sleeping and Lori smiled at her.


End file.
